Dog in da Hood

There was once a doxie called Chynna
No other sausage looked finer
Everyone thought she was a peach
As she licked every face within reach
And everything she wore was designer

Ice Ice Baby

Although the worst of the snow has missed us, the cold weather certainly hasn't. This place has certainly lived up to the name Brrringland during the last few days. The sleet combined with freezing temperatures has turned our road into an 'ice rink'.

I have the next two weeks off work but unfortunately, P has to go into the office for a couple of days. Driving is really out of the question. He has to take the train into the office and deal with the delays. As soon as the weather turns extreme here, everything just seems to fall apart.

I just took these photos of our back garden and the road in front of our house. Thought all of you on the Small Island can look at them and gloat about how lovely and warm you are! Me, jealous?!! Noooooooooooooooooo.....(yessssssssssssssss).

Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours!

Click to enlarge:

The Dreaded C Word

In my last entry, I mentioned feeling great sorrow because of losing Lainey to cancer.

It's only been in the last few months that I have started to feel comfortable and happy in this country. A large part of this has been due to the friends that we have met here. Just a few days after I wrote that blog, we received the devastating news that one of our new friends has skin cancer.

We hope that because it was caught in the early stages that Smiley will make a full recovery. The medical team has moved very quickly and he's already had an operation to remove the affected area. However, as with every cancer case, it is a waiting game. Sometimes you pull the short straw and sometimes if you're very lucky, you don't.

P and I are of course both worried, but thinking positive thoughts for him and praying every day.

I myself am in shock as you can all imagine. Smiley and his wife are a wonderful couple i.e. kind, generous, sweet and funny. Although we haven't known them for very long, P and I really care for them. When we get together, it is constant laughter and hilarity. Although they are a little older than us, we have a lot in common. They really are lovely and I know that if any of you met them, you would feel the same.

As I end this short entry today, I ask if all of you could pray for Smiley's rapid recovery and remission in whatever faith that you believe in. Thank you very much and I will keep you posted on how he is doing.

Yo Ho Ho and Champers on Ice

Twelve months ago, P and I were excitedly anticipating the arrival of Yeller Fever to our rainy shores. This year, he will be on the Small Island and sorely missed. However, he will be here in the summer with his partner and we just cannot wait!

We will spend the yuletide season with friends we have made since we moved here. I am looking forward to having two weeks off but it will be different without my BFF around.

This weekend, we'll be having a cocktail party for about 20 colleagues, some of whom are also friends. In anticipation of our little celebration, we have put up our Christmas decorations.

Josh Grobin is on the CD player while I unpack my three big containers of ornaments. It's at times like this that remind me of loved ones that are no longer with us, in particular, my darling Lainey. I can't believe that it has been almost four years (in April 2010) since she passed. I miss her as much today as I did on the day that she died, if not more.

So much has happened that she doesn't know about i.e. my wedding, moving to Brrringland and so on. I know that she would find my crude comments about Brrringlish gals absolutely hilarious and would email me laughing about my last 'yellow river' blog. That is what I find the most painful: that we can't share the ridiculous that is daily life anymore. I still think about her with equal amounts of love and sorrow every single day. And I guess I always will.

But on a day like today (even though it's rainy and cr*p outside), I remember that I'm also very lucky to have a loving husband, great friends and family, a good job and a beautiful house to live in. Plus let's not forget, mummy's little helper, Chynna.

Here, my little friend is 'assisting' me to put up the decorations from her cosy little spot under the tree:


Most of the decorations are in the living and dining area. Because this house is so big, it doesn't feel cluttered at all:


The dress code of our upcoming party is 'Ball Gowns and Bedroom Slippers'. P will be in his tux and I will be wearing a long black strapless gown, my vintage diamonds and wonderful Hello Kitty slippers. I can't wait to see what other people will wear!

Photos to follow next week...

The Princess and the Pee

P and I are thinking of buying a place of our own here some time next year (fingers crossed for a nice big bonus!). We haven't narrowed down an area yet, but are taking the next few months to explore different towns to see which one would suit us best.

Last weekend, we took Chynna with us and headed south east towards the coast as I have a colleague who lives there. Before we got on the motorway, we stopped off at a service station to fill up with petrol, use the bathroom and pick up some snacks for the 1.5 hour journey. In the shop, I couldn't decide between a sausage roll or mini scotch eggs stuffed with pork that came in a plastic tub. My hand hovered over both items before I finally went with the eggs. Thank goodness I did though, and you will all see why in a bit.

After driving for a short while, P said to me, "Oh sh*t, they have closed the motorway between junction 5 and 6!" At that point, I didn't realize what that would mean. However, I soon would as we were caught in one of the worst traffic jams I have ever been in. We sat in the same spot without moving for about 25 minutes and when we did, it was literally at a crawl. There had been an accident earlier. Instead of quickly moving the affected vehicles out of the way (what am I saying? That would have taken common sense), the Brrrringlish idiots decided to cause chaos for thousands of drivers by closing that section of the motorway and sending us all on a jolly detour down single-lane country roads. You can imagine the congestion that caused at that particular junction. It was like trying to funnel a dam full of water through a straw.

All of you that know me well are aware that I have the bladder of a knat. One of my friends calls me the 'electric shower heater' i.e. water goes in cold and comes out almost immediately warm. Being stuck in a gridlock is one of my biggest nightmares. After not moving for about two hours, I was about to have a serious accident all over the front seat. There just didn't seem to be an end in sight.

It is illegal here to get out of your car on the motorway so it wasn't like I could even use one of the bushes on the verge as a toilet. As it is the fall, the plants were quite bare anyway so they wouldn't have provided much coverage. I had visions of my bare behind being posted up on Youtube or on one of those 'priceless' emails that go around the www.

I was so uncomfortable and desperate that I was about to p into a zip lock bag that we had. Unfortunately, it was sandwich sized so I knew it wasn't going to be big enough. I looked around the car to see what we could use and on the back seat, I noticed the tub of scotch eggs. I said to P, "I got it! I can use that as a p pot!".

The only issue was that it was still half full of food. So my sweet husband opened the tub and started eating the contents at full speed. He couldn't chew as fast as his hand was putting eggs in his mouth and I think was making himself sick. Finally all the scotch eggs were eaten and he gave me the empty container.

As I didn't want to spill on the seat, I laid the disposable baby changing mat lining Chynna's travel bed on the seat, twigs that she picks up on her walks and all. I took Chynna's towel, put it over my lap, dropped my trousers, put the pot into position and let the yellow river flow. I'm sure people looking into the car must have thought I was a REALLY tall Chinese woman.

By this time, P had finally maneuvered into the far right lane so he had to ensure he didn't pull up next to any trucks that could down look directly into the car as we moved. Two minutes and one litre later, I felt much much better. Thank goodness for napkins and wet wipes.

We managed to pass the worst of the jam, but were still stuck behind slow-moving traffic for another hour or so. I then had to use the bathroom again. The second time of using the p pot was not surprisingly, much easier than the first.

Soon afterwards, traffic normalised and then it was P's turn to need to use the bathroom. A journey that would normally have taken 90 minutes took almost five hours. We finally pulled into a service station and I have never seen P move so fast in my life.

That day showed me that I have really settled in this country. I can never change the uselessness of the people and the inefficiency in the way they think. But after 18 months of living here, I have now honed my ability to work around their inabilities. I think it would be fair to say that not only did I impress P, but I also surprised myself. Humans are amazing creatures and we are adaptable in the most surprising (though not always pleasant) ways.

I now have an emergency 'toilet' in the car, a plastic bag filled with more disposable baby changing mats, the infamous scotch egg pot, a sarong (for modesty) and more wet wipes. Needs must!

More House Pics

We were up north this weekend for a colleague's wedding and had a great time. On the way there, we stopped off at a show home warehouse and picked up a couple of pieces of furniture.

The first is a stool that we have near the entrance hallway. We ask all our visitors to take their shoes off when they come into the house and have had some funny situations with people hopping around trying to put their shoes back on when they leave. Hence, we thought a stool might come in handy and would also be useful in preventing any injuries!


The second item we bought is a lovely chair on brass castors. This is in the dining room and can be brought out into the living area if we need any extra seating for when guests come over.


It's a pity that the sun wasn't shining when I took these photos of the dining room, but this IS Brrringland after all! However, you can still see how lovely and light the room is.

The kitchen is just off the dining area.


When you guys come over, this is where you'll sleep. I absolutely love the vintage cheval mirror in the corner of the room.


I still haven't bought a new sofa yet, so photos of the living are will have to wait.

Maybe Not Love, But At Least Contentment

This weekend, P and I moved into our new rented house: a lovely three bedroom semi-detached family home. It's less than a mile from where we used to live in the Victorian cottage, but a whole world away.

I have forgotten how wonderful it is to be in a modern house where the building insulation is effective, the shower doesn't have a mind of its own going from hot to cold and hot again all in the space of two seconds and where mold doesn't lurk in every damp and dark corner. We also have two 'pp rooms' in this place, yahooooooo!

It was hard work but we managed to move everything within a day. Although we are not 100% there yet, we are close. We are in a wonderful little cul de sac of about a dozen houses, most of which are inhabited by retirees and families. There are other Asians here too and our immediate neighbour is a lovely lady from Tom Yum Land.

This is the view from our front yard:

On the day we moved, so many of them came out to meet us. We already have a dinner invitation from one of the Fragrant Harbour families two doors down! I'm happy.

Chynna loves it here too. She has had so much attention from everyone and she enjoys tearing round and round the back garden. And yes, this time, we have grass! Plus perfumed rose bushes, my absolute favourite flower.

We still need bits and pieces of furniture and once it's all completed, I will take photos and update the blog.

In the mean time, I have a 'sneak peek' of what is to come. The only room that is finished is the master bedroom. It is in my favourite shabby chic style with whites, creams, light browns and pale greens making it a calm oasis.

This is the view into our room from the hallway:

As there wasn't enough drawer space, I used two white open book shelves that the landlady had left behind for my sweaters, jeans and folded clothes. However, not wanting to leave it open to 'collect dust', I came up with the novel idea of using two of my vintage hand worked lace tableclothes to cover them up. I think it looks really pretty.

White baskets, lace and vintage chandeliers are the order of the day:

Best of all, our room overlooks the back garden:

I can't wait for the rest of the house to be finished. It will be amazing and I think you all will be particularly impressed with the dining room conservatory.

And while I may never love this country, at least in this house, even though we've only been here a few days, it feels like it could be home.

'Tis the Season for Change

There is something in the air and it's called 'life moves on'. Besides changing Chynna's dog walker last month, there have also been a lot of other developments in our lives.

P was recently promoted and is now Head of IT for You-Rope as opposed to Head of IT for Brrringland. It is a huge jump in responsibility and he is travelling a lot more. Hopefully, this will be the first step of many and the next leap might be to the Land of the Free? I will keep my fingers (and toes and legs and eyes!!) crossed. I am definitely a Buffalo Wing kind of gal and would jump at the opportunity to live and work there.

We also decided to buy a car and are now proud owners of a 2006 Ford Focus 5-door hatchback. We lived without a car for over a year but it's so convenient and we love having it. We have done quite a few day trips and it has really been enjoyable. We can now also pick friends up from the airport (as opposed to putting them on the bus or in a taxi) so I hope that more of you will come to visit us here!



We have also found another rental property not too far from where we live now. The difference (and oh what a difference it is!) is that we'll have a second toilet! Yahoooooooooooooooooooooo! A lot of houses and flats here only have one bathroom (even if they have three bedrooms or more), so uncivilized. But what else can you expect from this place? The reference checks are being done now and all being well, we will move some time next month.

No post is complete without a couple of photos of our baby dawg, who is not so much of a baby anymore at just over five months old. These were taken by a friend and can you tell, it's not easy being beautiful!

Doggone Outta' Here!

It is with a little bit of regret and a whole lot of relief that P and I finally fired our dog walker Nicky yesterday.

Although she was great with Chynna, she wasn't so great with us. You always had to be careful what you said around her as she took herself very seriously.

The downhill slide started a few weeks ago. Nicky had come over to teach us how to correct Chynna when she pulled or resisted on the lead and made us walk up and down the sidewalk outside our house. As she walked off, I jokingly said to P, "Slave driver!". She turned around and I pointed to P and said, "He said that!", not realizing she didn't know it was actually me who had made the tongue-in-cheek remark.

That evening, she sent P a very rude text saying that she was trying to teach us how to have a better behaved dog and that she didn't appreciate him making nasty comments about her! I quickly contacted Nicky and explained that it was me being cheeky and that P didn't have anything to do with it. She said, "Opps!" but never apologized to P. Needless to say, P was extremely p*ssed off but he let it go as he knew how much I liked her.

The problem with someone like Nicky who is very self righteous is that it is just a matter of time before another incident explodes. Yesterday, that happened with me and unfortunately for her, I am not as forgiving as P.

I knew that she was having financial difficulties as she has cancelled her contracts with all of her other clients as they didn't train their dogs the way she wanted them to. As I know she likes to sew, I offered her the opportunity to make some dog mats for me as I wanted to give them to my colleagues who cover for me when I go on holiday. They are all dog owners. I had bought a lovely Cath Kidston dog mat from an online seller but I wanted to give Nicky the business instead so I asked her to copy it.

However, out of hoping to do a good turn, the whole situation became a huge palava. Nicky got flustered because she couldn't source good but cheap fabrics and it became a very big deal in her mind. In the end, it got very complicated when she started sending me more and more irate texts raving about working for minimum wage, wasting her time looking for material, etc.

I honestly didn't understand what the fuss was about. If other sellers can do it, why can't she? Anyway, it got to the point where I then became very fed up. I sent her last sms to P, who replied back with, 'Crazy!"

That, coupled with the previous incident with P, made us both decide that we didn't want her to work for us anymore. I have always considered her a friend, not just an employee, but her inability to treat people with respect and in a rational manner completely turned us off.

P went home early from the office and waited for Nicky to drop Chynna off in the afternoon. He then told her we needed a cooling off period. At this news, she completely lost her temper and started arguing with him. When he told her it wasn't doing any good, she stormed off. She claims she didn't see it coming and although I hope that this will be a good wake up call for her, I doubt if she can see where she went wrong.

She has since sent me several texts and emails, none of which I have read. Although it saddens me a lot, I know that it is pointless trying to explain where we are coming from. I have always known she is a hair trigger away from losing her temper and she herself has admitted she is highly strung.

She is in her late 30s, has never been married and been seeing a married man for the last six years whom she breaks up and gets back together with at least once a week. I guess when you live your life with so much drama, you forget what stability and 'normalcy' (for lack of a better word) is like. I honestly believe she doesn't know how to behave with other people as she has been alone for so long. She admitted to me some time ago that she doesn't have any female friends anymore and no wonder. She makes ME look low maintenance, and that is saying something!

We have found another company run by a couple who take care of dogs full time. Chynna is going with them today so fingers crossed that she will have a smooth transition into their pack.

Although is is 'summer' here, it has been very rainy and wet. I have bought Chynna an expensive Hurtta raincoat (from Finland, what they don't know about dog coats ain't worth knowing!) but being a cheapskate, I have got a larger size that will fit her when she's grown (she has approximately another two inches in length, two inches around her neck and three inches around her chest to go). Here she is modelling it (albeit unhappily) for mummy ha ha:

'Le Kwa Si Mi?!'

Chynna Dawg

In the end, we couldn't wait until Saturday to get Chynna from the breeder's. So P and I took Friday afternoon off work, rented a car, and drove a six-hour round trip journey to pick up our new puppy.

On the way home, she sat in my lap on a soft fleece blanket. Unfortunately, the breeder ignored my request not to feed her and due to the 'stop-start' traffic on the motorway, our little friend heaved four times! I couldn't manage to open the plastic bag in time so had to catch the first one with my hand ha ha. Puppies have no clue about the value of jewelry and she had no qualms about regurgitating her food on my very expensive diamond rings. :-)

P and I were both apprehensive about her first night home but we needn't have worried. We didn't sleep well at all but it was all in our heads. After crying for less than 30 seconds (which we ignored), she settled in with her snuggle puppy (a soft toy with a battery-operated beating heart and heart pad to simulate a litter mate) and slept soundly. I woke her up at 2.30am for a pee break, but realized the following morning when the breeder emailed that she could have held it the whole night! Thanks for telling me, NOT!!!

We took 11-week-old Chynna to the vet yesterday for her puppy check up and she was given the all clear. She weighed in at 2.55 kg. She will go back in a month to have her weight monitored and for another worming session.

Last night was good as well (and fingers crossed that this is how it will be moving forward!) and she slept until 4.30am when I took her out for a potty break. We then both went back to bed and laid in until 6.45am.

Chynna is a gorgeous little creature with a sweet face and cute personality. She already knows her name and commands like 'come', 'in your basket' and 'go pee pee'. We are working on 'sit' and 'down' as well as doing some leash work.

We have decided that she is a pie, a cutie pie. And I'm sure that when you all see these photos of her, you will think so too!

Chynna and her sister Daisy from last year's litter

Napping on her handmade Cath Kidston mat

Being carried to the vet's in her bag
Chilling in her crate

Zzzzzz...playing all day is hard work!

All About the Dog

I haven't written on the blog for a while as after losing our beloved dog Winnie last month, I felt that my joy for life itself had been squeezed out of my heart. I just didn't have it in me to 'talk' too much about what I was going through. I guess both P and I just needed to retreat into our metaphoric 'den' and lick our wounds.

Winnie was a special little monkey and I will always love her deeply. I am trying to remember the fun times and laughter she brought into our home and that we also gave her a wonderful life while she was with us.

However, I now have some news which I think you all may like to hear.

First though, I want to thank everyone who sent me a personal note after you all heard the news about Winnie. Your words brought me great comfort during a very difficult time. I grieved terribly for weeks afterwards and it still hurts when I think about her.

What life has shown me is that when you lose someone that you love, the pain never truly goes away. You just learn to live with it. I still can't talk about Lainey, my beautiful friend who died from cancer three years ago, without my voice breaking or being close to tears. But I accept that that is the price you pay when you love someone or in this instance, my dog.

What we found after Winnie left us was that the house was so empty and quiet. The silence made the beating of our shattered hearts seem even louder, but we also didn't want to replace Winnie, for in all honestly, she was one of a kind.

We thought long and hard about getting another dog. But even in our grief we realized that we, as a family unit, were incomplete without one. So I decided to look online for litters of Miniature Dachshunds (I have always found them adorable). A breeder in Wales had four long-haired girls so we arranged to drive down at the weekend to look at them. In particular, I was interested in the cream-coloured puppy. They are quite unusual and especially beautiful.

However, even on the day we made the appointment, both P and I still had our doubts about whether we should do this. I haven't had a puppy in years and have forgotten how to look after one. Also, was it too soon after Winnie? We talked about it a lot but that evening, I made a joke that if we did get the cream puppy, that I would call her Chynna, after Chynna Phillips (who is also blond) from the band Wilson Phillips (now you can tell how old I am!).

I was still waking up at 3am and crying for a few hours and that night was no different. P stayed up and comforted me so he got no sleep either. The next morning, he took the train to work as he was just too tired to do the normal 16-mile round trip cycle. As soon as he got to the office, he called me up in a state of high excitement and said, "Guess what?!! On the tube coming in today, I saw a cream long-haired Miniature Dachshund! It's a sign!"

Although I knew how rare it is to see a dog on the tube (I take it every day and have only seen one in 13 months of living here) and even rarer to see the exact breed and colour we had chosen, inside, I pooh poohed his idea. I humoured him by saying, "Oh really, that's great!" but if I am honest, I thought that it was just a coincidence.

I didn't give it anymore thought as I was quite busy at work that day. Later in the afternoon, my boss asked me to go to the bank to get some documents certified for her. I don't often do stuff like that and have probably stepped inside that branch less than half a dozen times. I took her papers there, sat down and waited for someone to come and serve me.

A few minutes later, this very pretty woman came up and asked for my documents. I glanced at her name tag and felt a jolt through my entire being. Her first name was.....Chyna (spelt with one N). In my 39 years and living over 10 of those years outside the Small Island, I have never, and I mean NEVER, met anyone with that name before. In fact, Chynna Phillips is the only Chynna I know of.

After Chyna finished certifying the papers, I rushed back to my desk and called P. I told him what had happened and said, "Is it a sign?!!!!!"

Whatever it was that happened that day, it definitely cemented our belief that we were doing the right thing. Although we were nervous when we drove down to Wales the following Saturday, we also felt that whatever was meant to be, would be.

Of course, we completely fell into our puppy's paws when we saw her. We spent an hour with the breeder, her lovely human family, and her equally lovely pets. The four puppies (along with their mum, dad and a sister from a previous litter) were all gorgeous, enthusiastic and sweet. Two were a beautiful red, the same colour as Winnie. But I knew that if we took one of them, we would always think it was Winnie whenever we caught a glimpse of the puppy out of the corner of our eye. I just didn't want to have my hopes up for a millisecond, then be crushed all over again.

The dogs were all wonderful but we knew almost as soon as we got there that Chynna was the one for us. We will pick her up and bring her home in exactly one week.

We have been devouring dog books like crazy in order to prepare for Chynna's arrival. P and I are quietly excited, if that makes sense. It is a new beginning for us and we have no doubts that it will bring along its challanges too. Patience has never been my strong point but I guess I'll have to cultivate it now!

We feel it is a privilege that we have been given the opportunity to share our lives with this precious canine. I will post some more stories as time and our experiences together unfold. In the mean time, I will leave you with a few snaps of this lovely little creature:

Chynna at nine weeks old

With her snuggle puppy, a toy that eases separation anxiety

Playing in the garden with her sisters

The whole family efficiently hoovering up coco pops that the breeder had spilt! Good team work.

Home Sweet Home!

P and I are halfway through a two-week vacation on our Small Island and it has been wonderful so far.

Although I said I wouldn't shop, that has been virtually impossible. Our luggages are already full and we still have one week to go! My stepmum took us to a sale earlier in the week and we left S$500 poorer but half a suitcase fuller.

On top of that, we have been absolutely spoilt by my dad, but in particular, by my stepmum. P got two Puma jerseys and I got a gorgeous matching diamond earring and pendant set made out of round and baguette diamonds that go very well with my wedding ring. Now can you guys see why I like coming home? Ha ha.

We have spent most of our time having lunch and dinners with friends and family. I have not had such delicious food for over a year (since I left the Small Island in March 2008) nor laughed this loud and this hard.

The Small Island has changed so much over the last twelve months and the construction of new buildings marches relentlessly on. The condo next to my apartment is now 22 storeys high. A year ago, the foundations were just being put in.

Along with Yeller Fever, we have visited the new dam located at the marina area. Simply amazing.

Yesterday, P, YF and I went to listen to the Canadian Dad's band practising at his school. P and I will be back in Brrringland for their next performance so this was the next best thing. As they played their rock tunes, YF jived across the music room and the moment was magical. I felt such a surge of love for him, P with me in my favourite country, listening to wonderful music and my funny friend who has stood by me all these years doing a little dance. As he boogied past me, I took YF's hand and gave it a squeeze and a kiss.

I love this place and everything about it.

We also have a very busy schedule for the upcoming week and I look forward to more good times with great friends.

It's Enough!

To drive a girl crazy.

Living here I mean.

In my previous entry, I mentioned that I do not like nor respect many of the women that I work with as they are neurotic and sensitive drama queens. Well, several events that have happened this week has illustrated my point brilliantly.

1. One of the more senior members of staff, let's call her Krakpot, is a real piece of work. Mean-spirited and brash, she clashes head on with everyone, be it her own team, her peers or her superiors. No one likes her and I myself have experienced her sharp tongue, which I choose to ignore. At the end of the day, my attitude is that work is work. I may not like you, but I will still do my best at the job because of my own personal pride, professionalism and ability.

I didn't see Krakpot for a few days this week so asked one of my colleagues where she was. I was not surprised when I found out that she suffered a breakdown and is on medical leave for a minimum of two weeks. The demands of the job were just too much for her. This manifested itself in her abrasive exterior to those around her and she finally cracked (no pun intended) under the pressure.

I have been extremely solicitious with regards to discussing this topic at work and at home too. OF COURSE I have not made any 'cuckoo' jokes or anything of that nature muah ha ha. But seriously, if someone can't handle the job, then they should find something else to do. Otherwise you just make yourself, but more importantly other people i.e. me, miserable!

2. One afternoon this week, I saw one of the other PAs crying at her desk. A couple of other colleagues were comforting her. I didn't ask what happened and honestly don't care but I mean, hello? Open plan office! Go cry in the bathroom or in the stairwell but please, put your ugly, blotchy face away. No one wants to see it. Work is hard enough as it is already. Silly cow.

3. Because of the constant dramatics of my peers, I deleted the lot of them off my social networking account about six weeks ago and have consciously kept a distance from them. A few days ago, my boss mentioned in passing that one of them recently said that I am bossy. I was shocked. I am the least bossy person I know! I'm a pussycat, just ask P. :-)

In case you didn't pick it up, that was a joke. Everyone tells me I'm bossy! To the point that one day when I was nagging at two of my male managers, one of them said, "Hey, we are not your husbands you know!" Ha ha ha.

So yes, living in Brrringland is enough to drive a girl round the bend, proven by the amount of nut jobs that many of the 'natives' seem to be.

Another one of my pet peeves is the scruffiness of the women here. So often on the train and tube, I will see girls with super scuffed boots (know what shoe polish is girls?), old beat up handbags (stop stuffing your gobs with crisps and with the money you save, get a new one) and dirty coats (dry cleaners or a washing machine? Use them). I know many people have the impression that Blundon is 'bright lights, big city'. It may be so, but it's inhabited by women who are 'big ars*s, small minds'.

Reflections on an Interesting Year

As the one-year anniversary of my move to Blundon draws near (16 March), I can't help but reflect on life over the last twelve months.

It definitely has not been easy. Not just starting out a new marriage, but having to adapt to a new country at the same time.

The frustrations have been many.

I have found people at work, but especially the women, to be very provincial and insecure. They may have travelled to other parts of the region or to the Land of the Free, but they have never lived out of their comfort zone. I was 16 when I first left the Small Island to further my studies on an exchange programme in sunny CA. Most of my colleagues haven't even moved out of the towns that they grew up in. They are thin-skinned and extremely ignorant.

It has taken me a long time to get used to it. Now I just feel sorry for them and keep my distance. Work is work, but they will never be my friends.

On the bright side, I have a fantastic boss who guides me in this new environment (although she has her moments as well!) and who encourages me to learn as much as I can. Although she is very tough at work, she is also extremely funny and has me in stitches most days. It could be worse.

I miss my friends and family back on our Small Island terribly. I have met some very nice people, but of course we don't share the history that I have with my close friends like Yeller Fever or the Canadian Mum and her family.

The good thing is that I do see my friends and cousins living here every so often, but it is still a trek to get to them. For example, my Princess Di Lookalike German Beauty only lives on the other side of Blundon. But it takes us two hours to get to her house on the train and the same when she and her husband and kids drive to us! The road here are appalling.

In fact, the whole transport network is a mess. My trains are late on a regular basis, which means that when I can get on, I am squeezed like a sardine for the 30-minute journey into central Blundon. My hands are next to people's big behinds (all I can hope for is that they didn't have beans for breakfast) and I can see how much ear wax they have. As there is no space to read the morning paper, I look around and ponder why Brringlish men have a penchant for stupid hair cuts. One of their favourites is short sides and a longer top that they mold into a pointed row down the middle of their head. The modern day b(w)anker punk. They think they look cool, but in fact they just look trailer park.

Actually they don't just look it. Many of them ARE low-class trash. Just a couple of weeks ago when I was on my way home, I saw a young Indian guy ask a Brrringlish Idiot if the train went to Kingston. The BI said, "Don't ask me!" and refused to make eye contact with the Indian guy, who looked a bit taken aback. I told the Indian guy that yes, the train did stop there. I thought that perhaps the BI didn't know the train route...but his gormless self was still there when it stopped at Kingston! What the BI fails to realize is that it is tax-paying 'coloureds' like the Indian Guy and me who allow the likes of him to bum around, do sweet FA and live off the state. Stupid ars*.

As you can tell, I have a lot of respect for the Brrrringlish...NOT!

But before you think it is all doom and gloom, I must confess that there are a few positives to living here too.

One of them is that there are regular flights home to our Small Island. Okay, okay not just that.
P and I rent a lovely little house and go on holiday regularly. I got a pretty good bonus this year which I saved most of, while still buying myself two designer handbags and P a new watch.

When I was on our Small Island, I spent most of what I earned. It's simple mathematics, I made less money there and went out more. I have more holidays here (27 days a year) and only work seven hours a day. I get paid over time for if I work 20 minutes over my regular hours. Although the tax is higher, we are still much better off financially. Our plan is to save as much money as we can while we are living here, then retire back home. I know that I don't want to deal with this cold and damp when I'm 60.

One bad thing about the weather is that it does make you pile on the pounds. I don't eat much more than I did back home, but my stomach seems to have increased in size! I can just about get into my trousers, but doing them up is a whole other story ha ha.

Regardless, P and I are heading back to the Small Island for a holiday in less than three weeks. Big tummy or not, I am so looking forward to scoffing the local grub. The diet starts afterwards!

Snow Galore!

If I thought last night was snowy, check out these photos that I've just taken in the last half an hour. These are houses opposite ours:

Our house:

Needless to say, I'm snowed in at home hee hee. P and I just saw someone skiing down our street, surreal!

Winnie is not too enthusiastic about this weather as it's very cold on her little paws. Luckily, she does her business on command and was very quick this morning so thank god for small mercies! I love it though. At lunch time, I am going to the park by the river to take some photos. It is getting heavier as we speak and I am so going to enjoy this day off!!

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let it Snow!

Technology is a wonderful thing. A couple of weeks ago, a colleague read in the paper that we'd have another cold spell at the beginning of February. Taking heed of her warning, I immediately invested in a few pairs of wool and cashmere tights. I'm so glad I did because this is the scene outside our house as I type this:

Our street:

Our back yard:

I love the snow so I don't mind. In fact, I hope it snows so heavily tonight that all the trains will be cancelled and I don't have to go to work tomorrow. Please God, let the incompetency of these people benefit me for once!

My job is going alright and I am enjoying life in Brrringland a bit more now. I have met some nice people recently as well.

The great news is that P and I will be heading back to the Small Island for a short holiday over Easter and I JUST CANNOT WAIT! My dad has kindly sponsored my flight ticket (thanks Dad!). I am really looking forward to the warm sunshine, wearing my sexy clothes (if I can still fit into them ugh), chilling out during happy hour and shaking my boo-tay!

I have not gotten drunk since I moved here. Mostly because there are a lot of yobs out and about and I never feel completely at ease in this country. The other day, B-dawg asked me why I don't write much on the blog anymore. Basically, my life has changed a lot over the last year or so. P and I don't go out much so I just don't run into men in drag or meet other weird freaks like I used to!

But for two weeks in April, I'll be back home sweet home and I am going to let my hair down and PAR-TAY! Woo hooooooooooooo!

All Things Christmas and More

As I drink the last of the mulled wine that we bought for the festive period, it's a bittersweet feeling realizing that the last two weeks of good times with my close friends have come to an end, at least for now.

I had planned on updating the blog over Christmas, but P and I were so busy with our visitors Yeller Fever (from the Small Island) and the Gorgeous M (from the Land of the Free) that I just didn't have time.

The two weeks, jammed pack to the brim with activities, have flown by in a blurr. I walked more in those 14 days than I have in the last 14 months combined! We visited Brighton (our hands down favourite), Bath, Hampton Court (the summer residence of Henry the 8th), Greenwich (where time began!) and Kew Gardens. One afternoon was spent on a pub crawl around central Blundon and we whiled away time at the Christmas Market at Hyde Park another evening. We met up with friends for lunches, dinners, drinks, etc. You get the idea.

We did so much that when Yeller Fever and the Gorgeous M left us on New Year's Day, P and I promptly developed sore throats that night. I have not left the house in the last three days in an attempt to get better as we both are back at work tomorrow, groan. But that's life, bills have to be paid!

Anyway, I won't complain as my boss got me a wonderful Christmas present. She gave me a £150 gift card from my favourite Brrritish furnishing store, and I bought a lovely rug for our dining room:

I guess it's her way of telling me that I'm fabulous and to thank me for all the hard work I put in during the year. And frankly, who am I to argue with that?!

Way back in September, P bought me a cornflower blue sapphire ring and matching earrings as a Christmas present:


But as the weather turned very cold recently, he also gave me two pairs of Ugg boots and a long DKNY Jeans puffa coat. They are rather ugly but in this weather, who cares about vanity? Certainly not me! P says I look like a walking bedroom with my new coat but I honestly can't be bothered. Being warm is my first priority.

Yeller Fever got me a Swarovski mobile phone charm and Canadian Mum gave me a 2008 edition Swarovski Christmas ornament (which Yeller Fever was kind enough to bring for me). I also received a luxurious grey cashmere scarf and a funky set of pyjamas from the Gorgeous M. I got many more gifts but they are too numerous to continue listing. 'People, don't jealous hor' ha ha.

As 2009 begins, I have already starting making plans for the year. The weather forecast for tomorrow is set to hit -5 and with the flu I'm fighting off, I long to be somewhere warm. I miss wearing spaghetti-strapped tops and shorts, and eating food from the hawker centres that cost $3. I think I hear the voice of the Small Island calling me home.

But for now, it's back to the real world and as it's too expensive to eat out in this sh*thole, cooking dinner in my cold kitchen calls me louder. Ugh!