I haven't written on the blog for a while as after losing our beloved dog Winnie last month, I felt that my joy for life itself had been squeezed out of my heart. I just didn't have it in me to 'talk' too much about what I was going through. I guess both P and I just needed to retreat into our metaphoric 'den' and lick our wounds.
Winnie was a special little monkey and I will always love her deeply. I am trying to remember the fun times and laughter she brought into our home and that we also gave her a wonderful life while she was with us.
However, I now have some news which I think you all may like to hear.
First though, I want to thank everyone who sent me a personal note after you all heard the news about Winnie. Your words brought me great comfort during a very difficult time. I grieved terribly for weeks afterwards and it still hurts when I think about her.
What life has shown me is that when you lose someone that you love, the pain never truly goes away. You just learn to live with it. I still can't talk about Lainey, my beautiful friend who died from cancer three years ago, without my voice breaking or being close to tears. But I accept that that is the price you pay when you love someone or in this instance, my dog.
What we found after Winnie left us was that the house was so empty and quiet. The silence made the beating of our shattered hearts seem even louder, but we also didn't want to replace Winnie, for in all honestly, she was one of a kind.
We thought long and hard about getting another dog. But even in our grief we realized that we, as a family unit, were incomplete without one. So I decided to look online for litters of Miniature Dachshunds (I have always found them adorable). A breeder in Wales had four long-haired girls so we arranged to drive down at the weekend to look at them. In particular, I was interested in the cream-coloured puppy. They are quite unusual and especially beautiful.
However, even on the day we made the appointment, both P and I still had our doubts about whether we should do this. I haven't had a puppy in years and have forgotten how to look after one. Also, was it too soon after Winnie? We talked about it a lot but that evening, I made a joke that if we did get the cream puppy, that I would call her Chynna, after Chynna Phillips (who is also blond) from the band Wilson Phillips (now you can tell how old I am!).
I was still waking up at 3am and crying for a few hours and that night was no different. P stayed up and comforted me so he got no sleep either. The next morning, he took the train to work as he was just too tired to do the normal 16-mile round trip cycle. As soon as he got to the office, he called me up in a state of high excitement and said, "Guess what?!! On the tube coming in today, I saw a cream long-haired Miniature Dachshund! It's a sign!"
Although I knew how rare it is to see a dog on the tube (I take it every day and have only seen one in 13 months of living here) and even rarer to see the exact breed and colour we had chosen, inside, I pooh poohed his idea. I humoured him by saying, "Oh really, that's great!" but if I am honest, I thought that it was just a coincidence.
I didn't give it anymore thought as I was quite busy at work that day. Later in the afternoon, my boss asked me to go to the bank to get some documents certified for her. I don't often do stuff like that and have probably stepped inside that branch less than half a dozen times. I took her papers there, sat down and waited for someone to come and serve me.
A few minutes later, this very pretty woman came up and asked for my documents. I glanced at her name tag and felt a jolt through my entire being. Her first name was.....Chyna (spelt with one N). In my 39 years and living over 10 of those years outside the Small Island, I have never, and I mean NEVER, met anyone with that name before. In fact, Chynna Phillips is the only Chynna I know of.
After Chyna finished certifying the papers, I rushed back to my desk and called P. I told him what had happened and said, "Is it a sign?!!!!!"
Whatever it was that happened that day, it definitely cemented our belief that we were doing the right thing. Although we were nervous when we drove down to Wales the following Saturday, we also felt that whatever was meant to be, would be.
Of course, we completely fell into our puppy's paws when we saw her. We spent an hour with the breeder, her lovely human family, and her equally lovely pets. The four puppies (along with their mum, dad and a sister from a previous litter) were all gorgeous, enthusiastic and sweet. Two were a beautiful red, the same colour as Winnie. But I knew that if we took one of them, we would always think it was Winnie whenever we caught a glimpse of the puppy out of the corner of our eye. I just didn't want to have my hopes up for a millisecond, then be crushed all over again.
The dogs were all wonderful but we knew almost as soon as we got there that Chynna was the one for us. We will pick her up and bring her home in exactly one week.
We have been devouring dog books like crazy in order to prepare for Chynna's arrival. P and I are quietly excited, if that makes sense. It is a new beginning for us and we have no doubts that it will bring along its challanges too. Patience has never been my strong point but I guess I'll have to cultivate it now!
We feel it is a privilege that we have been given the opportunity to share our lives with this precious canine. I will post some more stories as time and our experiences together unfold. In the mean time, I will leave you with a few snaps of this lovely little creature:
Winnie was a special little monkey and I will always love her deeply. I am trying to remember the fun times and laughter she brought into our home and that we also gave her a wonderful life while she was with us.
However, I now have some news which I think you all may like to hear.
First though, I want to thank everyone who sent me a personal note after you all heard the news about Winnie. Your words brought me great comfort during a very difficult time. I grieved terribly for weeks afterwards and it still hurts when I think about her.
What life has shown me is that when you lose someone that you love, the pain never truly goes away. You just learn to live with it. I still can't talk about Lainey, my beautiful friend who died from cancer three years ago, without my voice breaking or being close to tears. But I accept that that is the price you pay when you love someone or in this instance, my dog.
What we found after Winnie left us was that the house was so empty and quiet. The silence made the beating of our shattered hearts seem even louder, but we also didn't want to replace Winnie, for in all honestly, she was one of a kind.
We thought long and hard about getting another dog. But even in our grief we realized that we, as a family unit, were incomplete without one. So I decided to look online for litters of Miniature Dachshunds (I have always found them adorable). A breeder in Wales had four long-haired girls so we arranged to drive down at the weekend to look at them. In particular, I was interested in the cream-coloured puppy. They are quite unusual and especially beautiful.
However, even on the day we made the appointment, both P and I still had our doubts about whether we should do this. I haven't had a puppy in years and have forgotten how to look after one. Also, was it too soon after Winnie? We talked about it a lot but that evening, I made a joke that if we did get the cream puppy, that I would call her Chynna, after Chynna Phillips (who is also blond) from the band Wilson Phillips (now you can tell how old I am!).
I was still waking up at 3am and crying for a few hours and that night was no different. P stayed up and comforted me so he got no sleep either. The next morning, he took the train to work as he was just too tired to do the normal 16-mile round trip cycle. As soon as he got to the office, he called me up in a state of high excitement and said, "Guess what?!! On the tube coming in today, I saw a cream long-haired Miniature Dachshund! It's a sign!"
Although I knew how rare it is to see a dog on the tube (I take it every day and have only seen one in 13 months of living here) and even rarer to see the exact breed and colour we had chosen, inside, I pooh poohed his idea. I humoured him by saying, "Oh really, that's great!" but if I am honest, I thought that it was just a coincidence.
I didn't give it anymore thought as I was quite busy at work that day. Later in the afternoon, my boss asked me to go to the bank to get some documents certified for her. I don't often do stuff like that and have probably stepped inside that branch less than half a dozen times. I took her papers there, sat down and waited for someone to come and serve me.
A few minutes later, this very pretty woman came up and asked for my documents. I glanced at her name tag and felt a jolt through my entire being. Her first name was.....Chyna (spelt with one N). In my 39 years and living over 10 of those years outside the Small Island, I have never, and I mean NEVER, met anyone with that name before. In fact, Chynna Phillips is the only Chynna I know of.
After Chyna finished certifying the papers, I rushed back to my desk and called P. I told him what had happened and said, "Is it a sign?!!!!!"
Whatever it was that happened that day, it definitely cemented our belief that we were doing the right thing. Although we were nervous when we drove down to Wales the following Saturday, we also felt that whatever was meant to be, would be.
Of course, we completely fell into our puppy's paws when we saw her. We spent an hour with the breeder, her lovely human family, and her equally lovely pets. The four puppies (along with their mum, dad and a sister from a previous litter) were all gorgeous, enthusiastic and sweet. Two were a beautiful red, the same colour as Winnie. But I knew that if we took one of them, we would always think it was Winnie whenever we caught a glimpse of the puppy out of the corner of our eye. I just didn't want to have my hopes up for a millisecond, then be crushed all over again.
The dogs were all wonderful but we knew almost as soon as we got there that Chynna was the one for us. We will pick her up and bring her home in exactly one week.
We have been devouring dog books like crazy in order to prepare for Chynna's arrival. P and I are quietly excited, if that makes sense. It is a new beginning for us and we have no doubts that it will bring along its challanges too. Patience has never been my strong point but I guess I'll have to cultivate it now!
We feel it is a privilege that we have been given the opportunity to share our lives with this precious canine. I will post some more stories as time and our experiences together unfold. In the mean time, I will leave you with a few snaps of this lovely little creature:
Chynna at nine weeks old
With her snuggle puppy, a toy that eases separation anxiety
Playing in the garden with her sisters 
The whole family efficiently hoovering up coco pops that the breeder had spilt! Good team work.
No comments:
Post a Comment